How to Increase Your Forgiveness Quotient

Forgiveness is something that benefits the giver.  It allows spiritual growth and more happiness to fill your life.  Unforgiveness will rob you of joy and peace if you fail to relinquish the pain.  Furthermore, the very person who has wronged you, in many cases, will be off enjoying their life.   And, you will be the one stuck and miserable.  Often, they may have forgotten or may have never even known that you were hurt by them.  Now, I must admit, sometimes they do know but  do not seem to care.  Either way, you possess the power to forgive or not to forgive.  The choice is yours.    

Your willingness to forgive others and the ability to ask for forgiveness are crucial elements for spiritual growth.  True forgiveness is more than lip service.  Saying an empty,"  'I am sorry" will not do it. Real forgiveness is heartfelt and sincere.  Do you recall your childhood days?  Whenever there was a fight or an argument with a playmate, the adult would end it and force one or  both to say, "I am sorry." How sincere was that?  Did it change the way you felt?  I imagine it was just an act of compliance to placate the adult so you could continue on our way.  As adults, we may still be doing the same thing.  We say we forgive but still relive the pain of the wrong when we speak of it.  You know you have truly forgiven someone for past hurts when it no longer takes you down a road of pain. How does that look?  You no longer become angry or upset as if it has just happened.  You can acknowledge the incident, but raw emotions do not overwhelm you. The negativity that was previously connected to the incident will not dominate the conversation.  

Holding on to unforgiveness harms our spirit, affect our thinking and can obstruct our spiritual growth.  Can you see the benefits of releasing it and letting it go?  Remember, forgiveness is a quality of the 'CREATOR,  and if we desire to be more like Him, we must forgive.  Christ spoke these words, FORGIVE THEM ...FOR THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY DO. 

Practice the art of forgiving.   “I forgive you” can be hard to say but even harder to do.  But, in the end, you will be the one who benefits most.  

Although, holding on to the pain of unforgiveness is a heavy burden. Many people who have experienced being wronged will do so as if it is a memorial. They choose to wear a commemorative badge showing that they were treated unjustly. They do not realize how much better they will feel when they let it go. I encourage you to have courage and take the high road when wronged.  Learn to forgive.

Here are some steps to help you:

1. Identify the hurt. ignoring it does not allow you to resolve issues and may lead to resentment.  Be truthful to yourself and others as you courageously move forward on your forgiveness journey.

2. To get rid of the hurt, acknowledge your feelings of sadness, grief, anger, or loneliness? This acknowledgment can make you feel vulnerable, but it is necessary.  Unresolved it can turn into disgust, jealousy, or depression.

3. This one is crucial, forgive yourself. Sometimes we unintentionally put ourselves in harm's way and make bad decisions which increased your vulnerability. Accept the fact that it was a mistake, learn from it, forgive yourself, and move on.

Understand that forgiveness is from the heart and starts from within. When you learn to forgive unconditionally, empathy materializes. Remember, forgiveness is not contingent upon another person's ability to apologize. And most importantly, forgiveness will enable you to grow spiritually and love more fully. You deserve that!!!